I love watching girls in lingerie. Who doesn't?! When I see girls in tight jeans and T's, I try to guess what brand she might be wearing in there and visualize her in nothing else except the inner-wear. One of my favourite fantasy was getting into a friend's wash-room and finding her pantie hanging there.
So it turns out that I had once gone to a friend's place and I badly needed to pee. But his wife was bathing in there. Once she came out, I immediately rushed in. To my pleasant surprise, when I turned back to open the door after I was done peeing, I saw Priya's (that's not her real name) bra and pantie hanging on the hanger on the door. Apparently she forgot to take them with her after finishing her bath. There I was in the secrecy of the wash-room with the sexy lingerie of my friend's wife. I was feeling guilty of what I was doing. But could not resist it. They were Victoria's Secret. Couldn't believe she had so sexy choices. I had never thought of her in that way. She was pretty but I never had sex thoughts about her, before this incident. But right now, I started imagining her wearing nothing else but that lovely pair of inner-wear! She had a lovely pair of boobs but what I liked the most was the way her ass moved when she walked. And currently I was imagining her walking that sensuous walk in just her hot Victoria's Secret pantie.
I checked the cup of her bra. They were 34D and pink in color. And had a pantie of matching color. Slowly I brought the pantie close to my nose. I could not believe what I was doing. She had worn it just a few minutes back. So the smell of her pheromones were still intact. Oh, man - that was the sexiest smell I had ever smelt. By then, I was feeling very firm down there. I wanted to touch the same spot where her vagina touched her pantie, with my penis. So I brought her pantie in close contact with my erect penis. I was suddenly yearning for her. I started getting the thoughts of me and Priya having sex with each other.
I then realized I stayed in the wash-room for a bit too long. I rushed back out. That day on, Priya was no longer just another woman for me. I was my secret desire.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
How I tamed porn-addiction
Firstly, let me reassert what is now a public knowledge. Neither pornography nor masturbation negatively impacts your potency. Having said that, let me add that the two of them have a tendency to become an addiction. So much so that for the addicted individual, it becomes the sole indulgence. The individual can not focus on his/her work, tends to become a recluse and loses his/her self-esteem. Slowly but surely, this addiction has a psychological impact if not physical.
I, once had reached those levels of addiction to both these habits. It feels so very liberating in confiding such personal facts to the internet. After all, you don't know me right?! :-)) What is known to the scientific world about this and in fact all these addictions is that in the human brain, there is a chemical called dopamine. This chemical is responsible for rewards and giving pleasures. So every time you feel a sudden surge of happiness or pleasure, blame or thank this chemical in your brain. What has dopamine got to do with the above topic?
It turns out that when we see a pretty person of opposite gender (I am keeping this discussion strictly hetero. Any readers with other tastes may replace the text accordingly), the dopamine starts playing with the brain. This is the beginning of the whole cycle that leads to you know what! In a way, you can say dopamine brings you into a mood. But there is this thing about this whole cycle of pleasure. You always want more. You are not satisfied with what you had last time. So every next time, you get into wilder thoughts/fantasies than last time. So while the last time, you were happy seeing a shapely babe with lovely breasts, this time you want to see her naked. You gratify this need by a short-cut. End up watching porn. This leads to further boredom with earlier porn-watching experience and you want to watch a wilder porn. This goes on till none of this titillates you any further. In the meanwhile, you have stopped socializing and started losing focus on work. But more importantly, what started off with attraction for the other gender, has now evolved into something else. Now the sole aim in life is to get your dose of instant pleasure. The focus no longer is on the subject (the person who gives you the pleasure). The focus is on the erection and the act of releasing off the cum. This can lead to psychological impotence.
Obviously, for a healthy social as well as sexual life, you don't want all of this. At some stage, I realized I need to break the vicious cycle. And that I did. I proactively made some healthy choices. I encouraged myself to reinvent myself by rediscovering my past hobbies and developing them further. This engaged my thoughts in a different direction. Whenever these thoughts used to drift away to the addiction, I would consciously refocus it back to the new-found passions. It is a tough process. For one long month, I decided to watch no pornography and to not fondle myself down there. While in the past, masturbation was almost a daily routine, I abstained from it, despite lot of wild urges.
It was punishing in the beginning. But I started realizing its fruits in the days that followed. This was almost about 2 years ago. Since then, I am feeling like an all new person altogether. I did attempt watching a porn movie. But I felt averse to the artificial scenes in those movies. The addiction has disappeared.
In the past, my mind was oriented to view women as sluts and toys to give me that instant pleasure. Now this has given way to a feeling of respect for the women. The attraction and its sexual effects continue to be there. In fact, I get even wilder erections when I see a hot female. But the focus is on the female form and not on instant gratification.
I do occasionally watch nude and semi-nude content. But not the hard-core kind. Also, whereas in the past, I used to be in an auto-pilot mode wherein my desire used to control me, now it is me who is in control.
I, once had reached those levels of addiction to both these habits. It feels so very liberating in confiding such personal facts to the internet. After all, you don't know me right?! :-)) What is known to the scientific world about this and in fact all these addictions is that in the human brain, there is a chemical called dopamine. This chemical is responsible for rewards and giving pleasures. So every time you feel a sudden surge of happiness or pleasure, blame or thank this chemical in your brain. What has dopamine got to do with the above topic?
It turns out that when we see a pretty person of opposite gender (I am keeping this discussion strictly hetero. Any readers with other tastes may replace the text accordingly), the dopamine starts playing with the brain. This is the beginning of the whole cycle that leads to you know what! In a way, you can say dopamine brings you into a mood. But there is this thing about this whole cycle of pleasure. You always want more. You are not satisfied with what you had last time. So every next time, you get into wilder thoughts/fantasies than last time. So while the last time, you were happy seeing a shapely babe with lovely breasts, this time you want to see her naked. You gratify this need by a short-cut. End up watching porn. This leads to further boredom with earlier porn-watching experience and you want to watch a wilder porn. This goes on till none of this titillates you any further. In the meanwhile, you have stopped socializing and started losing focus on work. But more importantly, what started off with attraction for the other gender, has now evolved into something else. Now the sole aim in life is to get your dose of instant pleasure. The focus no longer is on the subject (the person who gives you the pleasure). The focus is on the erection and the act of releasing off the cum. This can lead to psychological impotence.
Obviously, for a healthy social as well as sexual life, you don't want all of this. At some stage, I realized I need to break the vicious cycle. And that I did. I proactively made some healthy choices. I encouraged myself to reinvent myself by rediscovering my past hobbies and developing them further. This engaged my thoughts in a different direction. Whenever these thoughts used to drift away to the addiction, I would consciously refocus it back to the new-found passions. It is a tough process. For one long month, I decided to watch no pornography and to not fondle myself down there. While in the past, masturbation was almost a daily routine, I abstained from it, despite lot of wild urges.
It was punishing in the beginning. But I started realizing its fruits in the days that followed. This was almost about 2 years ago. Since then, I am feeling like an all new person altogether. I did attempt watching a porn movie. But I felt averse to the artificial scenes in those movies. The addiction has disappeared.
In the past, my mind was oriented to view women as sluts and toys to give me that instant pleasure. Now this has given way to a feeling of respect for the women. The attraction and its sexual effects continue to be there. In fact, I get even wilder erections when I see a hot female. But the focus is on the female form and not on instant gratification.
I do occasionally watch nude and semi-nude content. But not the hard-core kind. Also, whereas in the past, I used to be in an auto-pilot mode wherein my desire used to control me, now it is me who is in control.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Those wonder years..
Those were the days when I knew nothing about sex, except that for some reason I used to feel funny down there on seeing beautiful girls. I must have been about 8-9 years of age. I was always curious to know what those sweet girls have got that made me feel that way. Good thing was that even the girls my age, with whom I used to play after school also seem to have the same curiosity about the guys around them. So it happened that there was one female my age named Rita (that's not her real name). I had a special crush on her, then. We used to play tag, hide-n-seek and many other games together.
It was during one of those games of hide-n-seek that this happened. Myself and Rita were both hiding in the same secluded place and there were no other guys and girls hiding with us. Its then that Rita lightly rubbed her fingers on my thing. It happened suddenly and I was blushing. She had an idea. She said how about taking turns at getting naked while no one else is watching us? I thought that was a good deal. So she put her hands on my pants and slipped it down. I can see from her face that she loved what she saw. She told me to turn around and I obeyed her, knowing that I will get my turn to have a good look at her. I then put my pants back on and it was my time to strip her. I can not forget the thrill I got on putting my hands underneath her skirt and pulling down her pantie. As I lifted her skirt, I could see her between-the-legs. I knew not, what was about it that got me excited - whether it was the smell or the way it looked. I also did not know what to do after getting her naked. I felt like wanting to touch her there, and that I did. This probably got her scared and she pulled her dress back up and ran away from there. We often used to play this new game for next few days whenever we were alone.
Once we were grown-ups and knew what our childhood games really meant, we both often used to shy ourselves from each other. When I used to look at her, she would often look away and blush, probably remembering our childhood fun together. I also remember those wonder years and fantasize of what fun it would have been to get Rita repeat the same after her puberty. She had grown very sexy and her figure definitely was worth dying for.
It was during one of those games of hide-n-seek that this happened. Myself and Rita were both hiding in the same secluded place and there were no other guys and girls hiding with us. Its then that Rita lightly rubbed her fingers on my thing. It happened suddenly and I was blushing. She had an idea. She said how about taking turns at getting naked while no one else is watching us? I thought that was a good deal. So she put her hands on my pants and slipped it down. I can see from her face that she loved what she saw. She told me to turn around and I obeyed her, knowing that I will get my turn to have a good look at her. I then put my pants back on and it was my time to strip her. I can not forget the thrill I got on putting my hands underneath her skirt and pulling down her pantie. As I lifted her skirt, I could see her between-the-legs. I knew not, what was about it that got me excited - whether it was the smell or the way it looked. I also did not know what to do after getting her naked. I felt like wanting to touch her there, and that I did. This probably got her scared and she pulled her dress back up and ran away from there. We often used to play this new game for next few days whenever we were alone.
Once we were grown-ups and knew what our childhood games really meant, we both often used to shy ourselves from each other. When I used to look at her, she would often look away and blush, probably remembering our childhood fun together. I also remember those wonder years and fantasize of what fun it would have been to get Rita repeat the same after her puberty. She had grown very sexy and her figure definitely was worth dying for.
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